I think crying makes you be fair to yourself to let out the emotions you've kept all this while.
Be it sadness, disappointment, anger and unfairness that you thought life brings you,crying be it a day or a week or everyday.. I'll just end the day with "so what?"
"yup I cried for all this that was not worth my tears(that was what i was told).. and so what?"
A few days back, I received mutiple emails and friendster messages/ comments from my ex boyfriend new girlfriend..Some I didn't reply, some I didn't even read and just delete and some I read but I just gave a smirk at what she's trying to do or say..And more and more mails came in and I got annoyed of course, so she say she wants to talk and I gave her my number..Let her say what she needs and just scram.. go get high and break someone else's relationship..
Its not that I am wasting time stooping low to argue or debate on things thats overdue, but its about stating my stand..So she called and according to her she wants to talk things out and clarify things that she didn't took him away..She wanted to tell me that she knows she is just an escape to him and that she won't be long with him..For me its not about taking away or who steals what from someone, but why would you be calling me and trying to clarify if it isn't your guilty conscience bugging you every night?
I was left here, all alone, with him not even having the guts to say he wants it over.He suddenly became a magician or chipsmore cookies maybe.. "now you see, now you don't" stunt on me..I found out everything myself. The harsh truth was so difficult and painful to swallow..
Yes of course I am hurt even more to hear her say that she is now happy with him, her lifes all normal thanks to him..Why the fuck you need to tell me all this information?I am still nursing a broken heart and he is with someone new..I guess that shows alot to what and how much I meant to him isnt it?And why is she calling me to tell me she don't mind letting him go since she knows he means alot to me..Why are you talking like as though I lost and that my life is so ruined with him not around.
Oh puhlease..
I told you already that I do not lose anything because what I am achieving is much better..
I told you already that I do not want someone who is already a "bekas-bekas" (used already)?
I told you already that if I drop by his hometown, and if I want to meet him, I'll go alone, I don't need your help because i can find my way.
I told you already that you can have him because he does not possess anymore quality and behaviour of the man I want to lead my life with.
I told you already that I do not want to be your friend because we have different prinsip and stop asking me to be your friend.
I told you already that I do not treat you as my enemy, neither as my friend and neither as a competitor.. because we're in totally different league my lady"(I know how to spell.."euuu caann't eveeeenn spelllllllllll")
I told you already that if you think he is using you as an escape, thats your freaking problem
I told you already that your call to me isn't gonna make my heart feel anymore better but let me tell you it isn't gonna make me crumble either:)
(p.s: If your bf is reading this, which I know he is, please ask him to translate all this to you and you both go for spelling class after that)
Oh Drama!Damn these drug addicts..
And like I said, you better pray that Karma doesn't find you..
The patience that you lost and the things you gave up while I'm here trying all I can to work things out for the best of both of us. I really lost all my respect towards you.The things you weren't brave to do yet ask so much and silly me for always succumbing to it. Though it was like a really shattered hope and things that you never thought human beingsare capable of doing to someone they once said "i love you". I felt whatever I have done really just went down the drain.
Can one do so much and still be hurt just as much?
I thought the fear of suffering is far more worse than the suffering itself?
But hey,Whatever god instore for me in this previous love journey, I hope it was to make me learn that being sincere for someone and being sincere in letting go of someone, being tough to some things you want but you can't have it,show me the ugly side of him, open up my eyes and heart to someone better.I'm not penning all these down to showcase my pride and boost the ego, but its just to share that its okay to give your 100% in things.Its okay to fall down really hard and its okay to cry.And if it didn't turn out as plan, always belief that there will always be better things instore for you.
But please, never steal and never take whats not yours.
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